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[personal profile] ankledeepruins
Healing; only the outline is raised and dry-feeling, the rest just feels like ordinary skin and Aquaphor. It hasn't started peeling yet, but it's beginning to itch. Ten more days of sideways showering.

Lame workouts the past two days, due to skin sensitivity, but still some progress: I've moved up to the 12lb medicine ball and am doing 5 sets of 15 reps with bicep curls instead of 10. Still stuck on the 20lb barbell, though. I am definitely not gaining weight, but I at least no longer feel like I'm getting smaller.

My friend Larissa officially quit the program last week. Apparently the new policy is that if you've passed your language exams at the MA level, you don't need to write a thesis for the MA. This gives me a bit more time to decide what I'm doing next year, as I'm completely through with masters-level work. If I stay, I have a slightly higher chance at summer funding for this year, and I've stopped hating Columbus now that I actually have friends. If I leave, I don't actually think I'll return to New York unless I find a Latin job there, but I'll probably head south. I am thinking Miami or New Orleans, even though I don't know anyone in either place anymore. I think if I stay for a third year, it's less because I want the PhD and more because changing absolutely everything in my life in one year seems a bit much.

The weird euphoria that stuck around for over a week after my sister left went away, but I'm still doing pretty okay. I have enough money to get through the rest of the school year without needing a roommate or losing my place, so I have at least another few months without having to worry about that particular problem. I am aware that I'm not 100% back to normal--I still feel pretty apathetic about work and I'm distracted enough that I keep losing things.* Still, I have more confidence than I've had in years, and I'm having fun again. Went to an incredibly shitty bar last night with friends and still had a good time. It's still weird to think that five months ago I had a neat little life path and now I have pretty much nothing stable, but that nothing is not actually terrible. I kind of feel like I am in my mid-twenties. Deciding to finally get that tattoo helped, I'm sure, and now that I've got an artist and a shop again, I'll probably start planning the next one. And since I'm not eighteen anymore, I can have ideas without tattooing them the next day, so this is a somewhat safer hobby than it used to be. I guess my old tattoos are sort of like knick-knacks, and I love my knick-knacks, but now I'm buying furniture and that requires a lot more thought, especially since I have to fit it in with all of the little pieces I have currently and might want later. Basically I'm thinking half sleeve, but I will probably move before I do anything, so it'll be a while yet. I have moved up in the hilarious social hierarchies of both tattoo shops and my gym this year: I've gone from "this is your aftercare" to "do you want to hear your aftercare again" to "what do you use for aftercare?" and one of the gym bros gave me a thumbs up yesterday. I guess an arm tattoo would be like when gym people start asking you to spot for them or something**, but still way beneath whatever sort of tattoo cred you get for something that can't be covered up, but that is not a level I ever intend to reach. Basically, at the moment being divorced is kind of working for me.

*In the last seven days alone: four pairs of new (thankfully $1) tights, my umbrella, and an earring.
**Of course I would be really surprised if anyone ever asked me to spot them. I can lift... the bar.
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January 2017

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